Mid-summer catch up.

I decided at the beginning of the summer (ie. the last day of my son's 1st year of school) that I needed a break. I wasn't sure what it was that I needed a break from but I knew I was tired of getting up and yelling and rushing and stressing and not knowing what was going to happen with my day in general. And it's not that I even lead a stressful life - I'm a stay-at-home mom remember, and I only have 2 kids! For heaven's sake, I should be completely sane, and yet, most days I'm not.

I find the little things stressful - like playdates and getting together and having to be somewhere at a specified time. I think I was always this way but so much more now that I have kids because kids don't get that you have to be somewhere and that they have to "behave" the whole time you're there and that even though I said so it actually means "I SAID SO" and they don't get why other kids get to do things they don't get to. Phew. And I don't always want to be there either and so I end up getting more stressed out... It's a vicious circle.

What I've discovered this summer is that if you take all the running around and hanging out and playdates and programs out of your life and out of your families life you might actually become just a little more sane. It's been wonderful. I like my kids (I always have loved them but I don't always like them - it's a fine, fine line) and I'm liking having them around. And we've really done nothing. They get up, snuggle with me, play with each other, go outside and play until lunch, come in, play, play, eat a snack, read, play, eat supper, play and hang out and then, bed. It's just freakin' fabulous. I'm probably more relaxed and more in love with my family than I've been in years. All because I stopped the running and I've stopped worrying about offending people by saying no.

I still see people but not all the time, not every day, not even every week. We have unplanned parties and get togethers with neighbours and friends and it's more than enough for the whole family. No one has complained. The kids don't ask to be running somewhere and on days when we do they often just want to stay home. My husband and I are laughing and joking again. I feel like we're enjoying just being a family in a great community. And I'm hoping that my kids are getting a summer like I remember having - the kind where you just get to be a kid.